Growing pains

Remember when we were little and we would do ANYTHING to grow stronger, bigger, taller, older? Daniella, my 3 year old, is at that stage. She'll actually eat vegetables (or at least try some) because she understands they'll help her body grow! Sometimes, though, she gets actual growing pains - they're real and they hurt!

We're a couple months into Dan's deployment. The glamor and adrenaline rush from the first month has worn off; we're in our new reality.  I don't think I could ever have understood what it's like to go through this experience just by listening to any of my army wife friends. Recently I met an Army wife by chance at church  who's husband just deployed 2 days before. One look at her face and I knew exactly how she was feeling.  It was the same feelings I had for the 24 hours after Dan left.  As she talked about the adjustment, her young children and the deep emotions of those first 2 days, we both shed tears together... we had only met a few minutes prior but there there was an immediate understanding of what she (and I) was going through.

I keep going back to some wise words that a dear friend here at Drum, a fellow Army wife, told me... "this deployment is a gift."  An opportunity to GROW like never before. A time to rely on my Heavenly Father in new ways. A time to fan the flame of my marriage and be reminded of all the amazing reasons I love that man. A chance to get to know my daughters more deeply. A time to build important friendships with others that will help remind us of Truth when our thoughts go to places they shouldn't.  A season to learn how to ask for help from others and to be quick to offer help to those in need.

And in just these few months, I have already been on the receiving end of so much love and care from others, near and far.  People I've never met (and may never meet) continue to send me messages telling me of their commitment to daily pray for our family and all of 1-89 CAV. Random people contacting Dan to send care packages to our troops and say they're praying for them.  Friends from all our different seasons of life have consistently been reaching out to us expressing their care for us and Dan's fellow soldiers and, of course, praying for us all.  My Fort Drum friends have been a tremendous blessing.  It's a unique experience to have genuine friendships with people you enjoy while also truly helping each others' families function well in the day to day.

So, anyway, remember when we were little and we would do ANYTHING to grow? Well, I think that's how God feels about us.  I think He will do anything it takes for us to have opportunities to grow closer to Him.  Yes, sometimes it hurts to grow.  There are times when my heart truly aches because I miss my best friend and first love or because I hear our daughters cry for their daddy to hold them or play with them. But even then, I know that the Lord is growing all of us in this experience to put our trust in His never-failing love and presence with us. 

My wonderful friend, Heather, introduced me to an amazing song recently.  This will definitely be added to my deployment anthem soundtrack: Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong United  I hope you'll take a few minutes to be encouraged by it :)!

Thank you, dear friends, for reading this and for your care and prayers for us and our 1-89 CAV family. May we see those opportunities for real growth that our Loving Father continues to give us and trust in His eternal love!

Heroes in March

March has been a very significant month at Fort Drum as 3rd Brigade has finally made it's return home after being deployed overseas for the last 12 months.  Throughout these last few weeks, I've watched with tears in my eyes, the numerous FB posts and photos of sweet family reunions.  Hearing wives refer to their husbands as their 'hero' coming home has become very common terminology.  And how true as these men have sacrificed a whole year of the comforts of home and loved ones to serve our nation by dutifully following orders overseas, some experiencing injuries and even some who were not able to return.  However, watching these same wives run their households, help their neighbors and friends in similar situations and find time to give of their 'free' time in various capacities around Fort Drum, I've been amazed by the 'heroes' that are here at home: the army wives.  So ready to help and serve others, I've been so struck by these amazingly strong women. 

Playing with our neighbor & friend!

Personally, I'd been dreading March for months, ever since Dan told me he would be away for the entire month training. As our first separation experience as a family, I had no idea how Daniella would do without Daddy for that long (or how I'd do on my own with two little ones, for that matter!).  So as I trudged into March dragging my feet, I kept thinking of all the wives around me who were finishing up their deployment duty of this past year.  And what encouragement I found!  One comment that struck me was made by a friend of mine who's husband is deployed, "I couldn't do this without Christ."  Those words have stayed with me this month as I've thought about how this is just practice for whenever the time comes when it will be our family's turn to experience deployment.  I want to be like these women I've watched all around me since we moved here in August.  Strong, confident, loving servants.  I've realized the only way selfish, fearful Sasha can accomplish that is through my Savior!  In my weakness, He is strong!

Dance party with Auntie & Uncle;
dancing is a frequent activity in our home!

So much more I could write here... like how awesome our families have been this month either by their visits (as shown in the video above of my in-laws and to the left of my sister & fiance) and/or phonecalls and prayers, how sweet my friends both here at Drum and elsewhere have been by checking in on me, and how amazing my next door neighbors are in all the playdates and care for my girls and me!  God is so faithful; I'm so thankful!  And April's around the corner! ;)

THANKFUL! :)

Hindsight

Hindsight is 20/20.  What truth in that catch phrase!  10 months ago we found out we were pregnant with our little Hannah and a week later received the call that Dan was accepted as an active duty army chaplain.  You should have seen my first reaction to the later news... not my finest moment I must admit.  Not because I didn't strongly believe this had been God's call on our lives, but this was not my timing!  My plan was either for us to stay an hour from our families in the community of friends and ministry we had just begun to grow comfortable in... OR go active duty and THEN get pregnant after we were nicely settled into another comfortable life community.  It surprised me that wasn't God's plan because it made perfect sense!

Well, here we are 10 months later, 2 moves later, 3 different OB doctor offices later, and 2 kids later.  Hannah was born on her November due date... the only part of this journey that went as planned :).  And as I've posted in earlier blog posts, God has provided for us in every detail of our needs and desires along the way.  It never ceases to amaze and surprise me... although it shouldn't, that's just who God is. 


The next 2 years will bring many new experiences for our family with two growing girls and months when Dan will be away for training or deployment.  As a new Army wife, I can't even imagine what that will be like.  However, as I look in hindsight at the last 10 months I'm confident God is loving and trustworthy.  What peace and joy that truth brings!

Happy new year!

A Blessing at Buster's Brew

We unexpectedly went out to dinner at a restaurant on post  called "Buster's Brew" this evening due to some time sensitive errands Dan needed to run for one of his uniforms.  This particular restaurant does not at all have the 'military feel' to it... once you're inside, you do not feel like you're on an army post.  Tonight they had a musician playing the piano and singing some classic 80s soft rock, the fireplaces were on and the fake candles were lit on each table... Daniella was in heaven :).  By the end of our meal, we let Daniella get up to dance to one song before we left.  A gentleman of an older couple seated next to us got down on his knees to join her -- it was so cute.  Afterwards as we were walking out, he stopped me and said he wanted to pay for our meal (which we had already paid for).  I thanked him but told him that wasn't necessary and we had already taken care of it.  Once we were loaded in our van outside, he walked out quickly after us asking us to come back in so that they could take the bill off Dan's card and put it on his!  Dan tried to get him to change his mind but he was determined. 

I've always heard of and admired folks who have gone out of their way to show their personal appreciation and support for our military, but this was my first 'up close and personal' experience.  Needless to say I was choked up about it during our drive out of the parking lot.  Thankful and in awe that people are aware of the service and sacrifice of soldiers and their families, while also feeling totally undeserving of tonight's little gift given how new we are to this whole Army way of life.  It was also the first time I truly felt like an Army wife... part of something rather than just Dan doing his thing and me watching. 

Thankful tonight for the sacrifice of soldiers and their families.  Even more thankful to my God for His lovingkindness towards my undeserving self and His calling of and provision for my family.

Home sweet (new) home!



At our first event with Dan's unit - Lake Ontario in the background!

Back in the promised land, flowing with Mets games and four seasons!  We're New Yorkers again, praise the Lord!  After a weekend of driving along the east coast, we arrived at our townhouse to be greeted by Dan's parents and brother who had adorned our new home with air mattresses and food while we awaited the arrival of all our belongings a few days later :).  Our first two weeks were filled with unpacking and settling in with much help from both our parents who made the 6 hour trip to visit us.  It's been wonderful to see so many familiar faces since coming back to NY, between both our parents and good friends from our former church in Fishkill.

Out to dinner, happy to sit with Daddy, after a long work week.

Dan has pretty much jumped right into his unit and is very busy meeting/counseling soldiers and families.  It's awesome and humbling to see the opportunity Dan has to speak truth into peoples' lives and hard situations.  PT (physical training) is still every weekday morning, but now he's up at 5:45am instead of 4:30am... what a wonderful difference that hour+ makes!  He uses that time to train with various groups of soldiers in order to be seen by and meet different soldiers in his unit.  As a family, we're plugging into a Saturday night on post contemporary chapel service called "The Crossing."  Dan will go on a preaching rotation with the lead chaplain there.  We're excited about what God has in store for this unique service and are also trying to figure out the later bedtime for Daniella on those nights.
 
Meanwhile, lil D and I are working out our own groove (and friends)!  Our week is basically filled with library storytime, an on post women's Bible study (PWOC - which is Daniella's only time away from me and in nursery... it's been hit or miss with her so far), playgroup and neighborhood walks.  We would have loved to live on post to be closer to Dan and the army community but housing is incredibly tight.  Our neighborhood is just over 10 minutes from post (closer to 25 min from Dan's actual office) and is also filled with army families.  

Thanks for checking in on us via our blog!  I'll try to update a bit more now that we're settled in.  We sincerely appreciate your interest and your prayers for our family as we all adjust to army life as well as for God's loving work to be done here!

Below is a silly little video of Daniella dancing around while I try to fold our laundry ;)...enjoy!



The end is in sight!

10 days until Dan's graduation and our departure from CH-BOLC (Chaplain Basic Officer Leadership Course) here at Fort Jackson!  Tomorrow is Dan's last day of PT (Physical Training) while he's here, which means sleeping in past 4:30am for both of us - yay!  Yesterday I was welcomed to join Dan and the 3 other active duty Chaplains from his platoon for lunch with their instructor, Chaplain Bowlus.  It was helpful to hear from an experienced Chaplain what to expect in the first few weeks of arriving at our first assignment.  And a good reminder of the importance of keeping priorities in order in balancing family time and army ministry.

Even though I've been waiting expectantly for this time of departure from Ft. Jackson to come (especially in the last 6 weeks), now that it's almost here it all seems to have gone by in a blink!  We're busy preparing for our move into our new home and community... setting up utilities, researching new doctors and, of course, the fun stuff like some home decor purchases!

That's the last farmer's tan she'll have for awhile!

Daniella's been busy, too... growing up!  From being the baby who hated when I combed her hair every night to now the girl who loves wearing ponytails, going to the 'stores' with mom, trying on shoes, singing songs and helping put away groceries... wow!  Every new mom ALWAYS hears from veteran mom-friends how fast it all goes, but I could not grasp that until I now start to experience it myself.  I'm excited to see Daniella in her new role as big sister and have a feeling she'll love it.  Always thinking of her little sister, she is sure to include 'Baby' whenever we talk about going anywhere as a family... sometimes I think she's thinking of her more than I am!  The other night Daniella had a hard time listening to one of us and while explaining to Daniella that she needed to stop crying for a moment and try to listen so I could explain what she needed to work on, she says through her tears "I'm a big sister"... her way of trying to tell herself to buck up and hold it together, hahaha.

Next week will be super busy as we prepare for our road trip north and I attend parts of the Spouse Seminar for the spouses of CH-BOLC students... a helpful opportunity to get information from veteran chaplain wives about their experiences, roles, army family life, deployments, etc.  I'm really looking forward to gleaning as much wisdom and insight as I can from that.  In talking with another Chaplain's wife this weekend, I reflected on how much God has done in our lives just in the last 4 and a half months!  We were civilians serving at a church living an hour from our families ready to expand our own family of 3 thinking we'd be where we were for at least another year or two.  One might think we were crazy to leave that situation to move to hot South Carolina to live in a hotel for 3 months and then move to SNOW country for the next 3 years with the understanding that army life almost always means deployment... hahaha!  Yes, we're crazy.  I guess when God answers prayer for direction and open doors, sometimes He does so gradually but other times He swings those doors wide open, straps a motor to your back and you just have to fly through.  He's provided for every single one of our needs... medical care for our family, friendship for Daniella and me while we try to make a normal life here temporarily, encouragement for both Dan and me through folks we've met along the way and through God's Word.  So as I anticipate asking God similar questions of what things will look like up north for our family, I have to remind myself of His faithfulness -- not just to us but throughout all of history to His children.  What a loving Heavenly Father we have!

I know there are many of our family and friends checking in on this blog to see how we're doing - thank you for reading and caring!  Many of you have also told us that you are praying for us - THANK YOU!!  I can't tell you how much we appreciate that kind of support.  God is truly answering your prayers; we are so encouraged by Him as we are on this adventure!

Thought you all might enjoy this video below from Daniella's birthday adventure to the zoo with our good friends here on post.  You might pick up some sweet dance moves as you watch, hehe.

More than half way

8 weeks down, 5 more to go here in South Carolina.  My mom asked me the other day if Daniella has picked up a southern accent yet.  The fact that she says "pawty" for "party" and "dawggie" for "doggie" makes me think her NY accent will hold out!

2 weeks ago Dan began Phase 2 of his Chaplain Course.  From a family perspective, this second phase has been much easier to cope with as there's more of a routine to each day/week.  He has lunch with us almost every day and spends every evening with us.  The weekends are ours now, too, which was different than our first month here.  He still has to wake up at 4:30am every morning to get ready for PT (which means we're both up), but I think that's just our new way of life now!  Dan was given the responsibility of Platoon Leader over his platoon which has been an overall positive experience thus far, as well (there are 4 platoons that make up the entire class of chaplains or chaplains-in-training, his is the 1st Platoon).  

At this point in the summer, we're not wishing away our time here at Fort Jackson but we are looking forward to settling into our home and finding community up at Fort Drum.  It's hard to let my pregnancy nesting instincts loose here in our hotel suite :).  At the same time, it's become extremely obvious to me how important this summer has been for our family here.  We've been learning so much as we prepare to truly start the next chapter of our life as Army Chaplain and family.  It has been a blessing to be poured into by the army wives in my PWOC bible study and for Dan to have an awesome Chaplain instructor over his platoon that he can gain experienced perspective from.  God has been preparing us for the road ahead in so many ways.  For me, it's daunting to think of mothering 2 little ones in a brand new setting... but I'm trusting God's perfect faithfulness and calling.

So our countdown has begun to starting life in the real world, in a real home, with real ministry responsibilities, real friends (hopefully) and neighbors, and no more daily housekeeping (darn!).  5..4..3..2..1.. Fort Drum.

"My Dad is in the army and he loves me!" We got her little sister one too :)